I'm always slightly wary when decisions are left in the hands of the American public, which is why I never watch the People's Choice Awards. The people believe that
Stargate Atlantis is the best sci-fi show on television and that Rascal Flatts is the best band on the planet. That scares me. In my quest to ensure that mediocrity not be rewarded yet again, it's time for me to weigh in on
America's Got Talent. Due to an injury sustained by one of the people in the top 40, America gets to decide which formerly ousted act should come back and take the final spot. Viewers can currently vote for one of eight acts over at
NBC.com, but who truly deserves the honor? Let's take a look at the nominees.
Donald Braswell II
Braswell is a singer with a pretty great voice, but during his
America's Got Talent audition he chose to belt out the hideous Josh Groban song "You Raise Me Up." If I'm going to pay to see someone put on a show in Las Vegas, I want to make sure the performer has halfway decent musical taste. Braswell seems like he'd be an overgrown David Archuleta, boring the audience to tears with ballad after ballad. Let him get a job warbling in a lounge somewhere instead.
Victoria Jacoby
Jacoby may only be 11-years-old, but there's no denying that her contortionist act is pretty amazing. I think she'd be perfect in something like Cirque du Soleil, but I can't imagine one contortionist having her own show in Vegas. Surely it would get a bit boring to watch a pre-teen twist herself into pretzel shapes for an hour. However, if Mystère has an opening she should definitely audition.
Junior and Emily
Junior and Emily are an impressive sibling dancing duo who can salsa like the contestants on
So You Think You Can Dance. They're undeniably talented, but again I can't picture paying to see them perform for an hour in Vegas. Salsa dancing is a blast to watch for a few minutes, but it's not enough to build a show around.
Lil Countrie and Page 1ne
If Junior and Emily are straight out of
So You Think You Can Dance, then the alphabetically-challenged Lil Countrie and Page 1ne must have come from
America's Best Dance Crew. They're an amazing couple of breakers, or hip-hoppers, or breakdancers, or whatever the kids call dancers that slide around on their heads and spin like propellers. These are two performers I would definitely pay to see in Vegas.
Dan Meyer
Dan Meyer swallows swords. That's it. That's his only talent. He also has a mullet. Need I say more?
Miss Pussykatt
Miss Pussykatt covers herself in metal plating, rubs an industrial grinder against the plates, and makes it appear that sparks are shooting from her butt. I will weep for America if this is a "talent" deemed worthy of the top 40.
Kyle Rifkin
Rifkin is a wedding singer who specializes in R&B numbers, and his musical taste immediately makes him more interesting than fellow crooner Donald Braswell. He also has plenty of attitude and charm, which is essential if you're going to entertain a crowd. Rifkin seems to have what it takes to headline a Vegas show, even if the judges didn't think so.
Xclusive
Watch any audition episode of
So You Think You Can Dance and you'll see some poppers that manipulate their bodies in a way that truly boggles the mind. Xclusive can't compare to those people. He's good at what he does, but he's not great enough to make it to Vegas.
After taking another look at all the contestants, I've decided that Lil Countrie and Page 1ne get my vote, with Kyle Rifkin coming in a close second. Who do you think deserves to make it into the
America's Got Talent top 40? Voting ends this Friday, so head to
NBC.com to cast your ballot.
Who deserves the final spot?
- Don Williams, BuddyTV Staff Writer
(Image courtesy of Getty Images)